Building a Positive Atmosphere – By Jimmy Evans, Marriage Today

In previous weeks we have discussed negative and destructive communication traits. Once those have been identified and removed from a marriage and family environment, it’s important to replace them with something positive. A positive atmosphere is one of the foundations of a healthy family.

Psalm 100:4 says, “Enter into His gates with thanksgiving, and into His courts with praise. Be thankful to Him, and bless His name.”

This scripture reveals that the secret to entering God’s presence is praise and thanksgiving. God’s heart opens to the positive person. Since we are made in His image, our hearts also open to those who are positive in their approach to us. (On the other hand, we tend to close ourselves off to those who are negative.)

Within the family, we need to be each others’ cheerleaders. Husbands need to root for their wives. Wives need to root for their husbands. Parents need to root for their kids. In fact, the parent should be more positive about his or her child than anyone that child will be around.

All of us—husbands, wives, parents, children—tend to gravitate toward those who affirm us. If you want a close-knit home, you need to create a home with a positive, encouraging atmosphere.

  • In a positive home, the husband can’t wait to get home because that is where he is affirmed and honored. He feels special.
  • In a positive home, the wife can’t wait to see her husband because she knows he is going to build her up and speak loving things to her.
  • In a positive home, kids can’t wait to return from school because they love to be with their parents. Their mom and dad constantly are speaking loving and positive things to them.

Conversely, a home of poisoned words and negative attitudes turns into a home where family members cannot relate to one another, nor do they enjoy spending time with one another.

  • A negative home causes kids to turn to their friends for communication, rather than their parents.
  • A negative home causes a wife to spend more time with her friends or family than with her husband.
  • A negative home causes a husband to embrace his work, his activities, or his friends rather than embrace his wife or children.

The result is an emotionally barren home filled with closed, distant people. This is the fruit of a negative spirit.

How do we build a positive atmosphere in the home? Psalm 118:24 says, “This is the day the LORD has made; we will rejoice and be glad in it.” Praise is our decision. There is always something to be thankful for in life, and praise finds it.

Every single day we have a choice. We can choose to praise God. We can choose to speak loving and encouraging words to our family. We can choose to remind our spouses, our children, and ourselves what is right with our families. When we praise the good things, we build an atmosphere of light and joy.

I’ve heard it said many times that it takes seven positive comments to make up for every one negative comment.What is the positive-to-negative ratio say about the condition of your home? And what do you need to start doing to balance it out?

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